Blacks RFC training.

Yesterday, went out with Jeremy, Chunkiat and Zhong to this real gayass place called Miss Clarity's Cafe. As usual, Jon was absent. It's not a bad a place especially when their Ben & Jerry's only $10 a pint. But damn, the layout of the place, felt like some Happy House shit to me man. But nonetheless, it was cool to meet up with the dudes from class back in J1 before retain.

Bought a book at Border's, thanks to Jeremy's 35% discount. It's titled Talent is Never Enough. Good enough motivation from the title for someone like me. Flipped through it, seemed great, bought it at $16. I hafta say it's probably the first time I'd ever bought a book for myself other than the whole Lord of The Rings series which is still untouched. That stuff in the book is cool. Probably add some interesting stuff I read in it here some time.

Went for Blacks training today, as usual, lack of fitness. Haha. But it was great. Getting in touch with the sport again. No injuries today. Just hard running and touch rugby. I ain't fit, not even close, but whilst during touch, I ran my knockers off. It was great. Fumbled quite a lot which was bad. Could had always used excuses like injury and long layoff from the game caused it but hey, a mistake is a mistake. Especially mistakes. Scored a lucky try. Could had a couple more, but damn, it was enough. Felt the high. It's still the passion in my life. Perhaps explains all my shitass mood and depressive pent up anger due to me not being able to play since last October. If only someone could understand that.

I feel the burning within that's been pretty on and off in me again. I wanna set my life straight. With or without someone. It has been eating into me quite a bit, and I'd been fucking up my life pretty much for the last couple of months. Failing exams, skipping coaching sessions and sleeping in class. It's not good. This ain't me. And it definitely ain't what I want. I need to sort this fucking head of my once again.

Can be done. Will be done.

Saw A in church today. I bet anyone can guess how I'd feel. It's such desolation. Grief. Bereavement. Words of sorrow that has long imbued in me. But leaving straight after church, not letting her see me is perhaps the best way. For either of us. It's pretty drama and gay. But hey, whatever works. It's sad that I don't sit beside her anymore.

Wished Auntie Nancy Happy Mother's Day today. Via sms of course. She was saying she hasn't really seem me these days and kinda hoped that all would be fine for me. It felt nice. She praying that it wasn't too stressful in school for me or anything. I liked A's parents. Always nice to me. And I in turn, do try to be nice to them. Oh well, sorry, but I still can't get over it. I miss them. I miss her family. I miss her. But I know, somehow, deep within, it's really really really over this time round.

Hope she'd be happy. That's all that matters, right?